Mister Romulan Spy

A long, long time ago... I can still remember
How a battle used to make me smile.
And I wish I had a chance, so I could make those plasmas dance,
And, maybe, be a warrior, for a while.

But Gorn destroyers made me shiver
With every plasma they'd deliver.
Bad news on the border; I couldn't hear the order.
I can't remember if I lied, when I got back to our own side.
Something scared me deep inside, the day my career died.

So bye-bye, Mister Romulan Spy.
Drove your shuttle to the portal, but the fuel tank was dry.
And Great House boys were drinkin' brandy and ale,
Sayin', "This'll be the time that you fail.
This'll be the time that you fail."

Do you know the facts of war, and do you roll in fields of gore,
If the praetor tells you so?
Do you believe in destiny, to force the others to their knees
And can you teach me how to kill real slow?

Well, you know that I just want to serve,
and get the glory I deserve,
I signed my life away, to do exactly what they'd say.

I was a lonely secret foreign spy
with a chance at last to do or die
but I knew I was out of luck
the day the circuits fried.

They started singin', Bye-bye, Mister Romulan Spy.
Drove your shuttle to the portal, but the fuel tank was dry.
And Great House boys were drinkin' brandy and ale,
Sayin', "This'll be the time that you fail.
This'll be the time that you fail."

Now for ten years we've been in a war
And blood flows thick from an open sore
But that's not how it used to be.
When the Admiral spoke to the praetor,
With a plan that won't work any more,
And a wish that came from you and me.

Oh and while the ship was coming down,
The praetor fled his bridge and frowned,
No orders were sent out. The fleet was in a rout!
And while the Emperor gave out the law
The warriors saw the fatal flaw,
And we knew we'd all take a draw
The day that Remus died.

They started singin',
Bye-bye, Mister Romulan Spy.
Drove your shuttle to the portal, But the fuel tank was dry.
And Great House boys were drinkin' brandy and ale,
Sayin', "This'll be the time that you fail.
This'll be the time that you fail."

Oh, and there we were all in one place,
A group of starships lost in space
With no time left to find our way.
It landed hard upon the ground,
One last safe place could not be found,
With the Praetor in his bunker in a cave.

Now the stench of death was sweet perfume
as tribunes played a battle tune
We all got up to fight,
but saw a flash of light!

Cause the gunboats tried to take the sky,
and give a fight to win or die.
Do you recall that we all cried,
The day that Remus died.

They started singin' ... bye-bye, Mister Romulan Spy.
Drove your shuttle to the portal, but the fuel tank was dry.
And Great House boys were drinkin' brandy and ale,
Sayin', "This'll be the time that you fail.
This'll be the time that you fail."

They kept on singin' ... bye-bye, Mister Romulan Spy.
Drove your shuttle to the portal, but the fuel tank was dry.
And Great House boys were drinkin' brandy and ale,
Sayin', "This'll be the time that you fail.
This'll be the time that you fail."


Parody copyright (c) 2010 Stephen V. Cole