Love in the 21st Century
Steve Cole thinks about love in the 21st Century:
Love is a wonderful thing, but you have to feed your love to make it grow. You have to work on your relationship/marriage to keep it healthy. Here are 10 ways, not necessarily the top 10, but 10 that work for me. Some of these are things that are for guys to do for their lady and some work both ways. You women may have to find creative replacements for the ones the guys are doing for you.
10. Do little things to lighten her load. Fill up her car with gas on a cold day. Keep your dirty laundry picked up and put in the basket. When she gets back from shopping, unloading the car is your job (and it's not over until you finish putting the stuff up.) When she takes your shirts out of the dryer, it's your job to be there and carry them to the closet. (By the way, it's probably a good idea to get her to teach you how to do laundry. Make written notes. When she's sick with a cold or something, you can do the laundry. Knowing you're preparing for such things makes her realize that you really do love her and really are a full partner in life.) Little pleasures are a good thing to do. When the alarm goes off, head for the kitchen to prepare her morning beverage (juice, coffee, soda, all those girls have something they want to drink first thing). When she jumps in the shower, throw her towel in the dryer so it's warm when she gets out. Wash her back.
9. Help her remember to carry her medication. Get her to give you a little ziplock bag with one spare day's pills in case she forgets. Skip your lunch to run home and get the pills she forgot. Ask her to help you organize your own medication so you never forget to take it. Don't make her hound you to go to the doctor for a checkup every year.
8. Sometimes, you gotta let her take you to a restaurant you don't like just to show her that her happiness is more important than your stomach. It's only one meal and you can sneak a snack from the quickie mart later.
7. Surprising her with some flowers is always fun. Doesn't have to be expensive. Sam's Club has some nice $5 bouquets. Girls like flowers. Girls like flowers given to them for no reason whatsoever. (Buy nice flowers when you have a reason.) When you pick up a snack, get her favorite too and leave it where she can find it.
6. Pick a quiet evening, turn off the television, and tell her "This is your chance to really discuss anything you've been wanting to discuss. You have my total attention." Trust me, she always has something she's been waiting for the right time to bring up.
5. Really listen to her and learn to pick up the clues as to what she wants. Explain to her that it's perfectly fine for her to just tell you what she wants or what she needs you to do instead of hinting about it. Find ways to reduce tension and conflict. (Buying a second remote for the TV so you both have one is a good idea.)
4. When you get a chance to take a day off (and she can't) spend the whole day doing things for her and surprise her that evening. Do some chores that she's been wanting done, buy her a present that you actually have to shop for, take her to her favorite place for lunch and pick up her favorite dinner to have ready at home. Something you haven't done has been irritating her and today is the perfect chance to take that issue off the table.
3. Never ever forget her birthday or your wedding anniversary, even if she says they don't matter. The ones that end in a zero need more than a nice dinner; they need a special something, maybe a night in a bed and breakfast.
2. Don't make her do her work alone. Sit down to pay bills with her at least every third time (it will do you good to know what's going on). Help her move furniture so she can vacuum. (Not going to kill you to grab the vacuum now and then and clean up around the cat's litterbox and food area.) Go to the grocery store with her, or maybe help her organize a standard grocery list and be responsible for checking the shelves and marking what is needed. When she's cooking and doesn't want you in her way, take out the trash or clean the litterbox or empty the dishwasher or clean up the clutter on the bar or set the table or something else to show you're working just as hard as she is and on things she thinks are important.
1. Put a ring on her finger, and if you already did that, reminder her that it was the best decision you ever made. And don't fall for the television thing of pulling the ring out of your pocket. Ask her to marry you and take her to the store and pick out her ring together. She's going to wear it every day for the rest of her life and ought to have a voice in picking it out.
Love is a wonderful thing, but you have to feed your love to make it grow. You have to work on your relationship/marriage to keep it healthy. Here are 10 ways, not necessarily the top 10, but 10 that work for me. Some of these are things that are for guys to do for their lady and some work both ways. You women may have to find creative replacements for the ones the guys are doing for you.
10. Do little things to lighten her load. Fill up her car with gas on a cold day. Keep your dirty laundry picked up and put in the basket. When she gets back from shopping, unloading the car is your job (and it's not over until you finish putting the stuff up.) When she takes your shirts out of the dryer, it's your job to be there and carry them to the closet. (By the way, it's probably a good idea to get her to teach you how to do laundry. Make written notes. When she's sick with a cold or something, you can do the laundry. Knowing you're preparing for such things makes her realize that you really do love her and really are a full partner in life.) Little pleasures are a good thing to do. When the alarm goes off, head for the kitchen to prepare her morning beverage (juice, coffee, soda, all those girls have something they want to drink first thing). When she jumps in the shower, throw her towel in the dryer so it's warm when she gets out. Wash her back.
9. Help her remember to carry her medication. Get her to give you a little ziplock bag with one spare day's pills in case she forgets. Skip your lunch to run home and get the pills she forgot. Ask her to help you organize your own medication so you never forget to take it. Don't make her hound you to go to the doctor for a checkup every year.
8. Sometimes, you gotta let her take you to a restaurant you don't like just to show her that her happiness is more important than your stomach. It's only one meal and you can sneak a snack from the quickie mart later.
7. Surprising her with some flowers is always fun. Doesn't have to be expensive. Sam's Club has some nice $5 bouquets. Girls like flowers. Girls like flowers given to them for no reason whatsoever. (Buy nice flowers when you have a reason.) When you pick up a snack, get her favorite too and leave it where she can find it.
6. Pick a quiet evening, turn off the television, and tell her "This is your chance to really discuss anything you've been wanting to discuss. You have my total attention." Trust me, she always has something she's been waiting for the right time to bring up.
5. Really listen to her and learn to pick up the clues as to what she wants. Explain to her that it's perfectly fine for her to just tell you what she wants or what she needs you to do instead of hinting about it. Find ways to reduce tension and conflict. (Buying a second remote for the TV so you both have one is a good idea.)
4. When you get a chance to take a day off (and she can't) spend the whole day doing things for her and surprise her that evening. Do some chores that she's been wanting done, buy her a present that you actually have to shop for, take her to her favorite place for lunch and pick up her favorite dinner to have ready at home. Something you haven't done has been irritating her and today is the perfect chance to take that issue off the table.
3. Never ever forget her birthday or your wedding anniversary, even if she says they don't matter. The ones that end in a zero need more than a nice dinner; they need a special something, maybe a night in a bed and breakfast.
2. Don't make her do her work alone. Sit down to pay bills with her at least every third time (it will do you good to know what's going on). Help her move furniture so she can vacuum. (Not going to kill you to grab the vacuum now and then and clean up around the cat's litterbox and food area.) Go to the grocery store with her, or maybe help her organize a standard grocery list and be responsible for checking the shelves and marking what is needed. When she's cooking and doesn't want you in her way, take out the trash or clean the litterbox or empty the dishwasher or clean up the clutter on the bar or set the table or something else to show you're working just as hard as she is and on things she thinks are important.
1. Put a ring on her finger, and if you already did that, reminder her that it was the best decision you ever made. And don't fall for the television thing of pulling the ring out of your pocket. Ask her to marry you and take her to the store and pick out her ring together. She's going to wear it every day for the rest of her life and ought to have a voice in picking it out.
posted by Federation Commander at 8:19 AM
<< Home