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Saturday, February 23, 2013

On Giving and Receiving and Memories

Jean Sexton muses:

As many of you know, I am planning on moving to Amarillo in the future after I retire from my position as a librarian at the University of North Carolina at Pembroke. In some ways, giving up my old life leaves bittersweet memories. As I do "this" for the last time, I try to reflect about the moment.

In the nearly 30 years I have spent at the University, one of the things we have been encouraged to do is to give back to the community. Over a third of my time there, I have been involved with the public schools as they hold "The Battle of the Books." This started on the state level as a competition for middle school students to compete and it showcases learning and reading. There is a list of books (each year it changes) that they must read. From those they must remember themes, events, and formats. They are asked questions about the books and must remember the correct title (and for extra points, the author). The questions cannot have names or parts of the title in the question. For example, a simple question might be "In which book does a boy help an African-American lifesaving group save people from shipwrecks?" The answer would be Rescue on the Outer Banks by Candice F. Ransom. A harder question from the same book might be "In which book did a horse's wild ancestors eat sea oats?" As is typical in quiz-bowl types of competitions if the question is missed, the other side gets a shot at it. The winners for the county move to a regional competition and those winners move on to the state level.

In this county I have watched this competition expand over the last decade. For a large part of it, the local county has tried to prepare younger students for the competition by holding matches for third through fifth grade. This year, the state has chosen to add a fourth and fifth grade competition. In response, we have expanded to a competition for second and third graders. It was my pleasure to serve as the moderator for the very first competition held in the county and the state.

In one sense I was giving to the community by helping them. In another, I was receiving from them the joy of seeing young students compete and succeed. When they got the answer right, their happiness washed out. At that age, their emotions are all on the surface and so evident. As a moderator, it was my job to be impartial, but I couldn't help celebrating inwardly when the answer was right. Part of me was sad when they bungled a title or forgot the author in midstream. The most heartbreaking moment for me was the tiebreaker round for third and fourth place. The winning team would get medals and a trophy; the losing team would get a certificate of participation. One person was so sure he knew the answer that he quickly answered without consulting with his teammates. Unfortunately, the answer was wrong -- the only wrong answer in the round. He broke down as he realized that he alone had lost the match for the team.

As I saw him, I remembered all the times that I thought I had done something wrong, that I was unhappy and not comforted, that I didn't realize that I would learn from the loss. As it was the last round, I could shed my impartiality and move to say something to the child. I reminded him that without all of his right answers, the team would never have made it to that round. I hope he takes with him the memory that he did a lot of things right. I hope he remembers the kindness of strangers and at some point in his life he comforts someone who is hurt. I hope he continues to compete. I shall always wonder if he does. But this memory is one I shall store away. I am fortunate that memories take so little space to pack up, for I have so many I wish to keep when I move to Texas.

Our SFU players are so talented. Many already give to their communities. If you haven't tried it, I encourage you to seek out an opportunity. You may find yourself the recipient of joy and satisfaction. And who know, perhaps you could store a few memories for yourself.