The Top 10 Things Every Captain Wants to Hear, pt. 2

5. Headquarters says we have one ensign too many and you should pick one to send back.
4. Ed McMahon is here with a check for you.
3. Aliens just kidnapped Ensign what's-his-name.
2. Headquarters says to report back for leave and a refit.
1. Ensign what's-his-name is repairing the airlock.

(c) 2002 Amarillo Design Bureau, Inc. Captain's Log #24